Stop waiting for feedback that never comes

Have you ever left a performance review feeling lost about what's really holding you back?

I know I have.

During my time as Senior Product Manager, I asked my manager what I needed to do to progress to Director level.

His response? Vague comments like "be more strategic" and "continue developing."

Nothing I could actually use.

So I went on a journey to gather the information myself. Today, I'm sharing what I learnt the hard way.
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#1: Ask better questions to get better answers

Your manager isn't going to volunteer detailed feedback unless you drag it out of them.

That's not their fault. Most people aren't trained to give good feedback.

You need to ask better questions:

• "What specific skills do I need to develop to progress to [next role]?"
• "What's the main difference between my current performance and what's needed at the next level?"
• "Can you give me an example of what this would look like in action?"

And when they give you that frustratingly vague feedback like "be more strategic," don't just nod and leave.

Push harder:

• "Could you clarify what 'strategic thinking' means in our team context?"
• "Who demonstrates this skill effectively that I could learn from?"
• "Show me a situation where you'd like to see me apply this more."

Don't stop at your manager either.

I reached out to directors and VPs in other departments. They were actually flattered I asked for their advice. One coffee chat taught me more about progression than a year of formal reviews.

And if someone else got promoted instead of you? Ask directly: "What strengths does [colleague] have that I should develop?" It's not confrontational. It's taking control of your growth.
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#2: Study what success looks like in your organisation

I spent months frustrated about not getting promoted before I realised something obvious...

I wasn't paying attention to who was getting promoted and why.

The patterns were right in front of me:

• Who gets promoted in your organisation?
• What qualities do they consistently demonstrate?
• How do they speak in meetings?
• What projects do they gravitate toward?

Look beyond the obvious. I used to think certain colleagues got ahead because they were extroverted or had the right connections.

When I looked closer, I noticed specific behaviours:

In my company, I discovered that deep expertise was valued above all else. The people who advanced weren't necessarily the most charismatic or the best networkers - they were the ones who knew their domain inside and out.

I watched one colleague get promoted after she became the go-to person for product analytics. She wasn't just using the tools - she understood the underlying statistical models and could explain complex patterns in simple terms.

Once I saw this pattern, I stopped spreading myself thin across different areas and instead doubled down on becoming the absolute expert in early product innovation. Six months of focused specialisation did more for my reputation than two years of being a generalist.
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#3: Align your work with what truly matters

Your manager has problems keeping them up at night.

Find out what they are:

• What metrics is your manager measured on?
• What pressures do they face from their bosses?
• What business problems are they desperate to solve?

When I finally asked my manager what success looked like for him, everything changed. He admitted he was under pressure to decrease customer churn.

Suddenly I knew exactly what to focus on.

I redirected my projects to tackle customer retention. I spoke to many customers to understand their challenges and what was missing and scoped out new features to solve some of these.

Three months later, when I presented how the new product features aligned with reducing churn, his perception of my value completely shifted.

Make your manager's success your mission, and your success will follow.
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Putting it all together: Your action plan

Start small. Pick one thing to do this week:

With your manager:

• Schedule a focused career conversation
• Ask what keeps them up at night
• Find one way to align your work with their priorities

Or with the wider organisation:

• Identify one senior person to have a coffee with
• List who got promoted recently and study what they have in common
• Pay attention in meetings to who gets listened to and why

Don't try to do everything at once. One small action is better than a perfect plan you never implement.
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Remember: You are in control

I spent too long waiting for someone to notice my potential.

Don't make my mistake.

Your career progression is too important to leave to chance or vague guidance. The information you need is out there. You just need to go get it.

No one cares about your career as much as you do.

And that's actually good news. Because it means you have the power to create your own path forward, even when feedback seems unclear or insufficient.

So what's your first step going to be?