How to get heard in a room of loud people

I used to think the only way to deal with loud personalities was to become louder myself.

You know the situation. You're in a meeting with what you think is a brilliant idea. You're genuinely excited about sharing it.

But before you can even start, someone else begins talking. And talking. And talking.

Dominating the conversation. Interrupting others mid-sentence. Filling every pause with their voice.

So what did I do?

Exactly what felt natural - I tried to match their energy.

Started talking louder. Faster. Interrupting right back. Basically turned into everything I dislike about difficult workplace dynamics.

It didn't work.

I walked out of that meeting feeling awful. Not because I lost the argument... but because I didn't recognise the person I'd become.

Sound familiar?

Here's what I learnt the hard way about dealing with dominant personalities...

Why fighting fire with fire backfires

Most of us think the only way to deal with someone who dominates conversations is to become louder ourselves.

I get it. It feels natural to match their energy.

But here's what really happens when you try to fight fire with fire:

• You lose your composure (and your message gets lost)
• You look just as unprofessional as they do
• The conversation becomes about who's loudest, not who's right
• You walk away feeling drained and unlike yourself

The people who actually get heard? The ones who command real respect?

They do something completely different.

And it works better than raising your voice ever will.

Strategy #1: Command the room with your physical presence

This one changed everything for me.

I used to shrink when faced with loud personalities. Literally make myself smaller.

Crossed arms. Hunched shoulders. Sitting at the edge of the table like I was ready to escape.

Your body talks before your mouth does. And mine was saying "please don't notice me" when I needed it to say "I belong here."

Here's what works:

When standing:

• Feet hip-width apart
• Shoulders back and relaxed
• Taking up the space you deserve

When sitting:

• Use those armrests
• Sit up straight but comfortable
• Claim your spot at the table

In meetings:

• Choose a seat where you can be seen
• Spread out your materials like you're prepared
• Don't hide in the corner

When you take up space confidently... even the most dominant person notices.

They can't ignore what they can clearly see.

Strategy #2: Use eye contact as your quiet strength

This one scared me at first.

Making eye contact with someone who's trying to steamroll you? It felt confrontational.

But here's what I discovered: eye contact isn't about winning a staring contest.

It's about sending a clear message: "I'm not intimidated by you, and I'm not backing down."

How to do this effectively:

When they're speaking:

• Make steady, respectful eye contact
• Not a death stare, but don't look away either
• Show you're listening without being submissive

When you're speaking:

• Look directly at them as you make your point (especially at the end of the sentence)
• Hold their gaze for a few seconds
• Then include others in the room
  
  

What happens next might surprise you:

They start actually listening.

Instead of just waiting for their turn to talk... they hear what you're saying.

Eye contact builds respect while showing you won't be pushed around.

Strategy #3: Slow down and watch the magic happen

This is the technique that consistently amazes me.

When someone is loud and fast and aggressive... every instinct tells you to match their pace.

Don't.

Do the opposite.

Speak slowly. Stay calm. Let your words breathe.

Why this works:

• They expect you to speed up
• When you slow down, they have to slow down to hear you
• Suddenly YOU control the pace of the conversation
• Everyone else respects your composure under pressure
  
  

How I practice this:

• Speak about 20% slower than feels natural
• Pause between important points
• Don't rush to fill every silence
• Keep your voice steady and even
  
  

The first time I tried this, it felt strange. Like I was moving too slowly.

But the effect was incredible.

The loud person started leaning in. Others in the room paid closer attention. My words carried actual weight.

It's like being the calm person in a room full of chaos. People are drawn to that steady energy.

Putting it all together

Three months after that disaster meeting... I got another chance.

Same room. Same difficult person. Same type of situation.

But this time?

I took my seat at the centre of the table.

I made confident eye contact when I spoke.

I slowed down my speech until every word landed with intention.

And something beautiful happened...

The person stopped interrupting me.

Not because I fought them. Not because I got louder.

Because I showed quiet confidence. Real strength.

The kind that doesn't need volume to be heard.

Your action plan

Here's what I want you to try this week:

Notice your current patterns:

• Do you shrink when faced with dominant personalities?
• Do you speed up your speech? Get louder? Start interrupting back?
• Just observe. No judgement.
  
  

Practice the physical presence:

• Even when you're alone
• Stand and sit like you belong there
• Get comfortable taking up appropriate space
  
  

Try the slow speech technique:

• Start with low-stakes conversations
• Notice how people respond differently
• Build your confidence with the approach
  
  

Look... dealing with difficult people is never enjoyable.

But you don't have to become someone you don't recognise just to be heard.

You don't have to fight fire with fire.

You just need to show up as your most confident, composed self.

The person you actually want to be.