The leadership advice I wish I'd ignored sooner

Listen.

I need to tell you something about leadership.

Something that took me years to figure out...

We've all been told there's one "right" way to lead. Be commanding. Be decisive. Don't show emotion.

And I bought it. For years.

I pretended I had all the answers when inside I was thinking "What am I doing?"

Then I discovered something that changed everything.

Science shows that different leadership styles can be equally powerful. And many traits that come naturally to women are incredibly valuable in modern teams.

We've been hiding our strengths instead of using them.

Let me show you what I mean...
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1. Your meetings can be both inclusive AND efficient

You know those meetings where one person dominates while others stay silent?

Yeah. Those.

Here's what neuroscience tells us: many women excel at connecting different types of thinking - analytical and interpersonal - simultaneously.

So here's what I do now:

Before the meeting starts: "Here's what we're discussing. Here's what we're deciding. Everyone will get a chance to speak."

Simple. Clear. Effective.

When someone's monopolising: "Thanks, Mike. Sarah, what's your perspective?"

It works. Every time.

When someone looks hesitant: "Jamie, you look like you want to add something...?"

They usually do. And it's often valuable.
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2. That gut feeling? It's actually strategic thinking

Ever sat in a meeting where everyone's nodding but your instincts are telling you something's off?

I used to ignore that feeling. Push it down. Tell myself I was being "too emotional."

Turns out, I wasn't.

Research shows that reading emotional undercurrents is a legitimate leadership skill. And it's saved my projects more times than I can count.

Now I do this:

When my instincts speak, I listen: I write down what each stakeholder might be worried about. Their pressures. Their concerns.

Then I address it: "I sense some concern about the timeline. Let's talk about that."

Watch their faces. The relief is immediate.

I adapt my communication: To the CFO: "This will reduce costs by 15%." To the creative team: "This gives you more freedom to innovate."

Same information. Different approach. Better results.
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3. When things go wrong (and they will)

Here's a confession: I used to pretend everything was fine when projects hit problems.

Big smile. "No problem! We've got this!"

(While panicking inside.)

Know what works better? Being authentic.

Research shows that when leaders admit challenges openly, teams actually perform better.

So now when things go wrong:

I gather everyone: "Okay team, that didn't go as planned. Let's figure out what happened."

No blame. Just facts.

I model openness: "I missed this risk completely. Here's what I learnt..."

You should see how this encourages others to be honest too.

Then we move forward: "Here's our new plan. Questions?"

Clear. Honest. Professional.

And you know what? My teams are more engaged and trusting than ever.
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Here's what I've learnt

For years, I tried to suppress my natural leadership style.

I thought I had to choose between being effective and being authentic.

It was exhausting. And unnecessary.

What I discovered: leadership isn't one-size-fits-all. The traits that come naturally to many women - collaboration, emotional intelligence, inclusive communication - are incredibly valuable in today's workplace.

So here's my challenge to you:

Tomorrow, try leading authentically. Run one meeting using your natural style. Trust your instincts. Create an inclusive environment.

Then watch what happens.

Because great leadership isn't about fitting a mould.

It's about bringing your best self to the table.

And that's more than enough.